The Guttmann's

At the time I got pregnant with our second child, I was mom to a 2 1/2 year old who wanted to be a big sister very bad.

 

I got pregnant quickly & was SO excited. At 12 weeks, I had a routine checkup & was excited to hear the heartbeat. However, when the nurse was looking for the heartbeat, it just sounded different than when I was pregnant with my oldest. The nurse finally said she couldn’t find it, but not to worry as it was still early & she’d get the doctor to try. He too couldn’t get anything and would send me to get an internal ultrasound.

 

Already crying & shaking from the thought of losing my baby, the ultrasound technician made me enter the probe. She was harsh & uncaring, looked at me & said “your baby is dead” & sent me back to my doctor’s office.

 

My doctor was great & let me cry in his office while he held my hand. He told me, if I wanted to try for another healthy pregnancy I needed to consider having a D & C. My doctor tested the fetal material & found that the baby would have been mentally handicapped. This was devastating since our oldest daughter was born with kidney problems & had surgery to remove a portion of her right kidney at 18 months.

 

I had the D & C 2 days later and was told to wait 9 months before trying for another baby. 9 months later, we tried & I quickly got pregnant with our rainbow baby.

 

I couldn’t be happier with my two girls but can’t help but wonder what my little boy (not verified but I feel it was) would look like & be like. I love that baby just as much as I love my girls & I miss him tremendously!

My oldest baby’s birth photo before we knew of her kidney problems. She was diagnosed at 5 weeks.

My rainbow baby’s birth picture … seemed like we waited forever for her …

 

 

Me, my rainbow “baby” & my oldest daughter at the “rainbow baby’s” bridal shower

 

 

The joys of my life … my rainbow baby and her big sister